There was a time in my life - around the time I was turning 40 - when everything seemed redundant.  Every day was the same as the day before. I woke up every morning in the same house, took the same route to work, went to the same job with the same people, ate the same foods, did the same volunteer activities . . . my life was full and productive, but I was weary of the repetition.

I remember journaling one morning, stating I had probably already done about everything I was going to do!   Then I realized, if there were any limitations in my life, they were from my lack of imagination!  Things were about to change!

Later that day, I gathered the girls and we went grocery shopping, but this time I set some guidelines.  "Today we will be collecting firsts.  We will shop for enough food for one week, but we can't buy anything that we've ever purchased before.  It has to be a new kind of fruit or vegetable, or a brand that we've never tried."

We laughed so hard I thought they would kick us out of the store! That week we found we liked some products better than the old standbys - and others were truly disappointing - but at least they added variety!  One example was guava paste instead of cranberry sauce. This still brings a smile when it shows up at Thanksgiving dinner!

For weeks I actively collected firsts - I would leave earlier and take a new way to work. Or open the phone book to the local restaurant section, close my eyes and point to one for out next evening out.. Randomly choosing books and magazines on unfamiliar topics opened up new worlds!

Small steps helped me build courage! Eventually I traveled to India - alone - and participated in pujas, took an untethered hot air balloon ride, illustrated a children's book, became the managing editor of a  magazine . .  .   Heavens!  I even experienced my first flood, lost my home and moved to Baltimore where I am blissfully continuing to expand my collection!

This is my first pandemic  and  hopefully my last. I’m teaching courses on Zoom for the first  time, watching my favorite sports teams play in empty stadiums, and training to run a virtual marathon in October. Who knows how many more I’ll collect before 2020 ends? Shifting my experiences to collecting firsts makes them less unsettling.What firsts have you  been collecting?
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Barely the day started and... it's already six in the evening.
Barely arrived on Monday and it's already Friday.
... and the month is already over.
... and the year is almost over.
... and already 40, 50 or 60 years of our lives have passed.
... and we realize that we lost our parents, friends.
and we realize it's too late to go back...
So... Let's try, despite everything, to enjoy the remaining time...
Let's keep looking for activities that we like...
Let's put some color in our grey...
Let's smile at the little things in life that put balm in our hearts.
And despite everything, we must continue to enjoy with serenity this time we have left.
Let's try to eliminate the afters...
I'm doing it after...
I'll say after...
I'll think about it after...
We leave everything for later like ′′ after ′′ is ours.
Because what we don't understand is that:
Afterwards, the coffee gets cold...
afterwards, priorities change...
Afterwards, the charm is broken...
afterwards, health passes...
Afterwards, the kids grow up...
Afterwards parents get old...
Afterwards, promises are forgotten...
afterwards, the day becomes the night...
afterwards life ends...
And then it's often too late....
So... Let's leave nothing for later...
Because still waiting to see you later, we can lose the best moments,
the best experiences,
best friends,
the best family...
The day is today...
​The moment is now...

The chamomile from the Rosemary House arrived! Their packages are always  a delight!

I added the  chamomile, then decided it needed more mint so gathered and dried more from the garden.Isn’t the fabric perfect? It reminds me of a starry night!  The mini-pillows are filled and ready to help ensure a more peaceful night’s sleep!  

​Advise from Maria Sabina, Mexican curandera (medicine woman) and poet.

“Cure yourself, with the light of the sun and the rays of the moon.
With the sound of the river and the waterfall.
With the swaying of the sea and the fluttering of birds.
Heal yourself, with the mint and mint leaves,
with neem and eucalyptus.
Sweeten yourself with lavender, rosemary, and chamomile.
Hug yourself with the cocoa bean and a touch of cinnamon.
Put love in tea instead of sugar
And take it looking at the stars
Heal yourself , with the kisses that the wind gives you
and the hugs of the rain.
Get strong with bare feet on the ground
and with everything that is born from it.
Get smarter every day by listening to your intuition,
looking at the world with the eye of your forehead.
Jump, dance, sing, so that you live happier.
Heal yourself, with beautiful love, and always remember ...
you are the medicine.

My kitchen smells divine! I've been gathering herbs and heating them in a slow oven to make sweet dreams pillows for a couple of friends who are having trouble sleeping. Lavender, peppermint, catnip, rosemary and old-fashioned (fragrant) roses have been drying in batches in a 200 F oven for days. Wish I had fields of all of them but I'm fortunate to have enough for a few pillows. My chamomile didn't do well this year, so it is ordered from the Rosemary House in Mechanicsburg, PA, my go to source. Once it arrives, I'll add it to the mixture and complete the pillows.  
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My first sweet dreams pillow was a gift from Joyce, one of my very favorite participants, from my Enhancing Your Life with Herbs course in the autumn of 2015. With a few gentle squeezes, the pillow is as fragrant now as it was when she first surprised me with it! See my October 23, 2015 post for more information!

​Yesterday I used my favorite sweet bread recipe  to make pumpkins sweet rolls. Wasn't sure how they'd turn out  but my neighbors, and the Amazon delivery guy who arrived just as they were out of the oven, seemed to like them. I had planned to double the amount of pumpkin next time but have been told they are 'perfect' and 'the best ever', so I'm ready to share the recipe - tested and approved!. 

PUMPKIN SWEET BREAD DOUGH 
​Gather ingredients - listed below in bold.. 

Rinse a large bowl thoroughly  with hot water. Empty bowl.
Add:
1/2 cup very warm water (105 - 115 degrees F)
spinkle
2 teas sugar and
1 1/2 packages dry yeast (or 4 teas.) on top of the water.
Stir with a wooden spoon, not metal spoon. (This advice came from my grandmother.)
Wait for a few minutes to be certain the  yeast is active, about 5 minutes. You'll see it begin to bubble.

In a small saucepan, warm
1 cup milk
stir in 
I stick butter, sliced to melt more quickly
1 teas salt

In a separate  bowl, beat
3 eggs 
add 
2 Tablespoons sugar
and beat until lemon colored.

Add both mixtures to the large bowl with yeast. 
(milk mixture and egg mixture)
Stir in
2 cups flour
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 teas. cinnamon
grated nutmeg

Continue adding flour until stiff enough to knead, about
4 cups flour

Knead for about 10 minutes or until smooth. Place in a lightly oiled bowl, oil on all sides, cover and let rise until doubled - about 2 1/2 hours. 

While dough is rising, bring
2 sticks of butter
to room temperature and prepare the cinnamon mixture and pans. 

CINNAMON SUGAR
​
In a small bowl, mix
1 cup sugar
2 teas. cinnamon

PREPARE PANS
​
Prepare your baking pans. Lightly butter the bottoms of
4 -  8 or 9 inch round pans. 
​I use the wrappers from the sticks of butter to grease the pans.  
​

Punch down dough and roll out on lightly floured surface. Divide in half.

Roll each piece to 12" x 15" rectangle. 

Spread one stick butter on each rectangle. Sprinkle each with half of the cinnamon sugar mixture. Roll the dough, beginning at the 15 " side. Cut into one inch slices. This will give you a total of 24 rolls, 6 rolls per baking pan. 

​Place rolls into prepared pans. Cover and let rise for about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. 

Bake for 25 minutes in middle oven rack. 

Icing
3 cups confectioner's sugar
water - add a small amount at a time
I like my icing fairly thick. Some people prefer a lighter glaze. Add just a little water slowly and mix with a fork until is the consistency you prefer. 

These are best served warm out of the oven! Share!

 

I recently  posted this on Facebook and a friend suggested I post it on my website. It's an issue dear to my heart and it's on a lot of people's minds, so from my perspective -  

White privilege. I recently read a post about white people not being able to understand it. Experience is a key factor. If you volunteer with women in Dauphin Country Prison for over 10 years, you'll get some insights. If you pilot a Life Esteem class for 180 students for 2 years in the Harrisburg School District and see the best and brightest end up in Abraxus and other adjudicated youth programs, you'll learn more about it. If you see drug deals in the John Harris parking lot and know those kids will end up in prison, yet see drug deals in the Cedar Cliff parking lot and know if caught most will only get a slap on the wrist, you'll have some idea. Or you could teach a teen parenting class at an inner city high school in the basement with three staff people with their desks in the corners, a table wedged in the middle of the room, pipes over head and no windows. Then you could cross over to the white shore to see their teen parenting program - a fully stocked state of the art kitchen, a television tuned to Good Morning America and comfy couches for the girls to watch. Oh, and in the next room there are cribs set up and two full time staff people to watch the children while the girls are in class. When someone you love is stopped on Christmas Eve, yelled at to get out of the car, guns pointed and told to walk backwards because her car looked like one that was stolen, you know what white privilege is. My heart aches because I know what white privilege is.